I left with a bad judgement

I dont wanna keep saying I have my fair share of people leaving; where it be friends going to home country or family members passed away or just losing someone close in general. It hurts and I can't help but feel sad. As I got older, it seems harder for me to cry and sometimes even to express what I really feel.

Recently, one of my close friends left and she's coming in December for her graduation. I know after that I don't know when I will be able to see her. We are like brother and sister but somehow I made a wrong decision or that I feel like I have made a bad move. I feel like we can be more but at times we can't because I look at her and I don't see something. It seems a little messy.

Maybe only time will tell......