Cross to many times

I tried my best but sometimes I also know that I havent tried my best..
If you force me, then I will walk out from you all..
I'm no longer your puppet..
I'm a boy with feelings...
When you took me away, I had to let go of something dear..
But you all don't know do you..
Becoz you dont care how I feel..
You only do what you think is right..
What you think is best..
But you forgotten that I'm also a human..

When she died, do you even care to comfort me..
I'm happy that you gave me some space to breathe..
But you didn't bother to ask how am I..

All you care are the money that you invested in me..
You make me look like I'm your golden trophe..
But sorry, I dont want to be that..
I just want a quiet simple life...
Around other people, you praise like I'm your perfect creatn
Back home, you couldn't careless of the achievement that I tried to make..

I do my best but you wanted more...
You are too focused on what I didn't get..
You praise me for what I have get with only 2 words
Good job!
SOmetimes you think it's not enough, you try to shower me with materials..
I see it in your eyes..
The every disatisfaction I see ever since my grade drop...
I see hopelessness when I see into your eyes..
I respect you..

I feel sometimes the things that you do is beoz you have to do..
You do it out of duty.. Not for the love that I will show you
But for duty.. One of you replace with the time spending with me with books that are about lust..
You deny God.. Just becoz people are not friendly..

When my grades drop, the 1st thing you threaten is..
For me to not go to youth..
Well guess what!
I'm through being your dummy..
Youth and God are the only thing that is keeping me sane..
I tried so many times to tell you that I'm a boy...

I search in my memories..
I wish we were like how we were when I was young..
You treated my like a treasure...
I wonder how did things change...

If I'm being forced or threaten...
I will walk out on you once and for all...
When I do, you are still something to me..
I will still respect you...
Because you are_______