It’s the first of December and I can’t find anything happy to blog about. The last time I blog is on the 29th of November. Well, to start off. My life hasn’t been good and neither has it been bad. For you info, its 3.25 am and I... Can’t say I can’t sleep but if I say I choose not to sleep, it’s not really right either. I sort of yes or no but either some shade of gray in the middle.
Anyways, to start off, I would say my life hasn’t been interesting nor has it been fun but at the same time, hasn’t been all bad just lack of joy some times. I haven’t been online for almost a week. I have finished my exams a week ago on a Saturday on my b’day. Mum wanted to bring me out to eat steak but I keep insisting I don’t want to celebrate and just have a normal dinner. As usual, she got a little pissed off and this was on the way to uni for my exam. I sighed in the car and in the end, I negotiated with her that we just have simple dinner. Then again she questioned that what is a simple dinner? I just say some noodles or just something simple. In the end, we had a simple Asian take-out noodles. It was ok but Chinese food is supposed to be eaten at a crowded area in a shop full of people but I don’t really like crowds sometimes. Anyways, I always didn’t want to celebrate my b’day since I can’t remember but to me, making someone else feeling special on their b’day was more important. My parents don’t know this but they always insist that we, as a family, must celebrate b’days. So, not to go into an argument with my parents, I just agree and always just say, “Let have something simple.”
This year I really didn’t want to celebrate because of some stuff happened and those stuff just turned sour and sore e.g. my first uni results and etc. Maybe this wasn’t my year and to make it hard, my parents thought it was just some stuff or phrase and it wasn’t big from their perspective; it shouldn’t have affect me. Well, maybe the boy they thought they knew their whole life isn’t who they thought they understand. It is also part of my fault because in their eyes, I have make them believe that I was quite independent and I could take care of myself; plus I don’t talk to them much. I do but yeah, I’m just quiet and prefer do stuff alone. Well, half of the time, they scold me for wasting my time when those times are when I’m doing some serious or semi serious thinking, sometimes I dig out memories, mistakes, events, feeling that I felt before, and etc. Abit of self-accessing as some people would say so.
I wished I had cauldron like Professor Dumbledore. The one where he stores his memories that he wish he could forget.
Since I’m on holidays, I had some free time on my hand as my previous blog says I got time to play more basketball and drum. So yeah, I have been doing alot of this but it’s raining here and it’s really annoying. The weather in Townsville has changed from the first time I was here. When it raining, it usually have lightning flashing, but for the past few weeks, there have been thunderstorm which to me is quite normal since in M’sia you get a lot. In Townsville you don’t usually get it in raining season, it kinda freaked me out whether is it global warming that is doing it or just some really fast changes in the weather.
I really having this dream and I think I have spoken about it. It’s about me flying as in seriously flying. I had this dream even before heroes came out and not because I watched superman. I don’t know what it means but it sure is weird but it’s quite fun.
As the year 2008 draw near to end, I wonder what is going to happen in 2009. I have some plans that I have made but I really don’t look forward because I feel that... Well, there is a decision I need to make and it’s sorta big plus it’s something I wished and never dreamed I have to do. If you figured it out then you have pay attention. If you don’t know then it’s cool because it doesn’t bother me either.
Does it make my life more fulfilling if I ran faster?
Does it make me any more useful if I sacrifice myself?
Does it make my feel more qualified?
Does it make me more humane?
To truly see who you really become
Stare into the mirror and reviewing how your life been
Then the person who stands out more when you are reviewing
Then that’s the real you who truly is
Sometime the joy in life
Is just to be simple
“It was never the way to begin with only the way of ending it”
“Not the first battle that will win the war but the last decisive battle”
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