UnDniable was awesomest to the core. My favourite band, Approaching Aver was good. Some of their songs that they played were new ones and some old of the old ones they play it differently but overall its sweet cool. What happened in the concert was that there were video clips of people hurting from skateboarding and doing crazy stunts. Then Approaching Aver came out and played few songs. It was so awesome but I couldn’t really jump around cause there were children all around me. After that, there was the “So do you think you can dance” competition, there were 8 people and all from different youth group. The dance was good and the winner was a 14 year old kiddo. He got the coolest moves. After the Youth Alive T’sville Band came out to play, it was so good. They played some Christian songs that I haven’t heard before but it was sweet. Then, there was this worship song that is really nice. The bridge goes like this “You gave it all for love, You gave it for love, You gave it all for love, All for me.” It was so cool and I was just thinking “This song is so true!” God really gave everything for us and because of love. Then, I saw my friend who I was suppose to meet up. I followed him because I had a seat but he saw someone and he asked me to come. And guess who came?
If you answer was the girl who I like, then yes, she’s in a youth concert. This is how it happened. My friend saw someone that at first maybe someone I knew. So I decided to follow him. I had to walk around the sound system. Then I saw a girl wearing a white shirt and I was like “It’s her.” Lo and behold, it was really her and normal when I guess something I’m always right. That’s one of the reasons why I hate myself. I was in a whirlpool of emotions when I first saw her. This the first time I saw her and another friend of mine actually came to a youth concert. I was speechless then a big blend of emotions just fell on me. I was like angry, shocked, wanna run away, sad, was going to break down, and love. It was the worst feeling I ever had. I was also thinking “What the heck is she doing here?”
The minute I saw her, I just wanted to “GET OUT OF HERE!!!” If you are wondering why, I was gonna boil my eyes out with tears and I meant literally. But then, there was another feeling came about, my feelings for her pretty much took over and I didn’t do what I wanted to do. Moreover, it’s a no passout concert. My feeling just take over and it happened so fast that I didn’t have to actually think about it and act upon it. It felt like a blink of my eye just once but that blink felt like an eternity. She said hi and I said hi. She asked how was I and I replied but I didnt ask her back. We only talked once . After that we just said bye and she said “I’ll see you some other time.” I didn’t look at her and I was looking at my other friend. I only turned around to look at her once. I just couldn’t bring myself to just look her in the eyes without tears streaming down my face.
During the night, I had a mental WW3 going inside my head. Things just started hitting hard in me. The next few lines are either gonna be intense or you can think that I’m crazy... But I don’t care.
During my mental WW3, I was split into 3 different type of person. In my mind, I had Jason, my good side/conscience/ANGEL and my bad side (BADDY)/ devil’s favourite equipment/my tough side. If the devil can’t break you from the outside, he will hit you from the inside out. I’m gonna write this in a 3rd person point of view so that it’s really easy to read.
Anyways, Jason was just knelling down and boiling his eyes. He kept saying that “Why is she here?”, “I don’t wanna that feeling anymore!”, and “God, please take this away!!!” Angel was just comforting him and while, Baddy was laughing at Jason and at the same time taunting him. Jason just wanted to kill himself right on spot because he couldn’t bear with the pain anymore. He just wanted to give. Then, he finally stood up and just shouted: “God!!! I give this pain to You!!!” He just kept saying the same thing. Until the eyes were open…
This all happen when she walked away to see my another friend and during that time, I just kept on saying that “God, just take this pain away!!!” I didn’t know whether it was written all over my face. But the moment she got back, I just open my eyes. I was literally gasping for air like I have drawn a breath for so long. Her presence didn’t really ruin the time of fun I had because I won’t let it happen.
I had fun when I was in the concert. Sorry for emo blogging.
If you have been hurt by love before and probably too many times, then you’ll won’t really get what I’m feeling and saying. You may understand but you won’t know that feeling if you haven’t been there. Overall, I was happy that I met her. I had fun at the concert.
Lights out! It’s 3 o’clock now.. Tomorrow is mother’s day and I got cooking to do...
Note: The next few lines is probably not the nicest things you wanna hear. Highlight it if you wanna read. It’s your own problem if you wanna read..
If you think what I’m saying makes me crazy then remember this, you won’t know
What Hell is Like until the devil starts tearing you from the inside out?
Because I’m living in one every day. Believe it!!!
You wanna know why because I’m moving with God and I believe that this year, there’s a chance that God, my youth group, and I are going to make a change to T’sville. Hehehe!!!
The feelings I have for her is gonna take a long time to get over it. But what happened in my mind is me and it has nothing to do with God. That is my own personal conflict. Please don’t think that the devil will stop at there when you are so ready to do God’s work.
I sound so crappy.. Hehehe!!!
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